I would love to know what some of you fellow bloggers think…
After you’ve been in a relationship with someone for an extended amount of time, how long should one wait before dating again?
I’ve been on both sides of the spectrum. Now I’ve only been in two relationships but they’ve both taught me a lot.
My first relationship was with someone who was totally different than the guys that I grew up around. He was attending college, extremely polite – held doors, did the who please and thank you gig – and who always seemed to be happy to have me by his side. I cared about him, don’t get me wrong, but I knew something was missing when 2 years in he was talking about loving me and that wasn’t something I was comfortable with because I didn’t feel the same way. Needless to say, while the relationship was a healthy one, it wasn’t a great one because I knew feelings lacked on my behalf.
We parted ways and I took time to think of what I wanted and for a little over a year, I paid no attention to any guy until my current guy came along.
Honestly, when I first met the guy in currently with, I knew there was something about him that attracted me immensely to him.
Although we didn’t actually communicate until a few months after our initial meeting, I still knew there was something about him that interested me. Even though I knew a relationship was not something I wanted immediately, I knew it could be something I would want eventually.
He literally swept me off my feet. To me, he was perfection. Even through his flaws, he was literally perfection to me. A little while after I started falling for him hard, things got really bad really fast.
While the bad was happening, I never questioned whether I wanted to be with him, but only questioned what I was lacking that made this stuff come to light.
We have definitely had out ups and downs and it’s definitely been a more tumultuous relationship than my first, but I believe that is what has made this relationship more genuine.
Now I know the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, while expecting different results – but I can honestly say that even though I’ve been through two horrible episodes that mimic each other in this relationship, I would never stick around for a third relationship.
Recently, we did have a hiccup that forced a separation between us for almost three months. It was such an awful time for me. But towards the last month of it, I came to grips that I don’t deserve instability or to be with someone who’s not going to be put me first in our relationship. No man or woman in ANY relationship deserves that. Especially not when you’re investing in this person who’s making you feel so insignificant.
But rather than me date and talk to other guys while my ex was going haywire, I had me time. It was coping time ALOT in the beginning, but towards the end it was like a realization that hit me like a knuckleball pitch square in the eye.
Although I love my partner wholeheartedly, what he has put me through has made more realistic and not as naive to him as I once was. It’s a good and bad thing but it’s just life.
Not a single day do I regret being his woman because I love him so much & because I do see he is a different man now. But I’m realistic enough to know that he may one day reject me again, but I am strong enough to walk away from it all if that does occur.
My point is, through my two relationships, I’ve learned so much because of the time I allotted myself to have. People seriously need to calm down and stop looking for love and just let it come to you.